Thursday, January 19, 2012

Only you know what your are feeling


Only you know what your are feeling

I truly hope that I never have to experience anything close to the pain of losing a child again in my lifetime.   

No words can ever describe the overwhelming fear of never feeling whole again.  It can be paralyzing.   My faith keeps me sane; knowing without a doubt that Will is in heaven is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going.  I live for the day I die and see Will in heaven. That does not mean in anyway that I have given up on leading a fulfilling, meaningful life.  It has given me direction and something to focus my attention on.   

I have made plenty of mistakes in the 19 months since Will has died. Luckily some of those mistakes were also great opportunities for growth.   I refuse to let the worst thing that has ever happened dictate the rest of my life. Not everyone will agree with the way you handle your grief.  Grieving is such a deeply emotional and personal process that each one of us experiences it differently.  Not everyone that you expected to be there for you will be there. Your focus should be on yourself and the people you love.

Only you know what your are feeling.   Never let anyone tell you how you should be feeling. 

Staying in touch with yourself, being honest about your emotions and setting realistic goals will definitely help keep you out of the shadows.

When I told Will to look at me so I could take his photo, he thought I was going to steal his funnel cake! Can you tell by that look on his face?  The photo was taken at his one and only Atlanta Falcons game.  I am so thankful that I took lots of photos throughout his nine years.

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