Wearing a mask
One of the easiest coping mechanisms for me after Will's death was to slip on my "I'm OK" mask. It was much easier to act happy than it was to constantly feel sad. In time even I began to believe I was ok. It felt like the right thing to do.
How wrong I was.
I was not, and am not, OK.
It has taken a long time to admit that to myself.
I let myself cry now without scolding myself. It never feels good to cry but I realize now that felt even worse to let it build and pretend it wasn't there.
