Stay Strong

Stay Strong

One day at a time....

One day at a time....


Just like an addict is told to take one day at a time, so should those who are grieving.  Every day is a new day full of infinite possibilities and second chances.  I know that Will would want me to lead a happy and productive life.  He was always a positive force in my life and I still try to live up to his expectations.  

Will would have expected his father to forgive those responsible for his death.  I have forgiven.

Will would have expected his father to treat his mother with dignity and respect.  I know she misses Will so much. I truly hope that in the near future we can share memories of Will's wonderful life and laugh together.   I know Will would want his mother to be happy.  There is nothing, short of my own happiness, that I want more in life than to see her happy again.

If it sounds like I am hurting a little more today than usual it is because I am.  I miss being a father and having family.  The true story of Will's death is coming, I have begun writing it.  The truth needs to be told so that others can learn from it and not let it happen again.

I live one day a time.

How to remain positive in light of circumstances

How to remain positive in light of circumstances

- from daytondailynews.com

Psychologist Irma Johnston believes realistic positive thinking can become a habit. Here are her suggestions for remaining positive:

Reframe. Rather than labeling your situation as a disaster or tragedy, see it as a challenge, an experience, an important part of your journey.

Let your feelings come, all of them, and then move through them. Again and again.

If plan A has not worked, don’t stop; begin plan B and then plan C.

Be forgiving of yourself and others, not always scanning for flaws or imperfections.

Love yourself in spite of your shortcomings, and love others in spite of theirs.

Appreciate little things each day and do something to nourish yourself: read a poem, have a cup of good tea, listen to music, take a walk, watch a movie, sing a song, hold a child or a pet.

Ask for a helping hand when needed and be grateful for whatever is offered.

When you feel stuck emotionally, move your body: take a walk, exercise, dance, hug a loved one.

Pause and appreciate something beautiful around you.

Recall how you have made it through hard times in the past and remember your strength, capability, faith and resources.

Take one hour at a time, one day, one week and pat yourself on the back for having made it through.

Dear God.....

Dear God....

Your Feelings

Your Feelings

How many times has someone asked how you are doing and you automatically answered, "I am OK"?  We have heard that question enough that it really does become automatic.  Can we really expect our friends and family to truly support us the way that we need if we don't at least try and share what were are feeling?  Yes, there are some people that will ask that question and don't want to hear any but "I am OK".  If you don't know who they are now you will as soon as you say something different by their expression.  

Do not deny what your feeling.  It does wonders sometimes just to get stuff off your chest to someone that will listen.   If you are experiencing any of the 7 Stages of Grief, you are not OK.  There are lots of words to describe what you are feeling.  Taking a stab at putting word to your feeling might just help you grasp how far you have actually come.  Remember above all else, you are allowed to feel the way your feeling.   Expressing those feelings is good for you and you may be surprised how it will help other people support you.

Only you know what your are feeling

Only you know what your are feeling

I truly hope that I never have to experience anything close to the pain of losing a child again in my lifetime.   

No words can ever describe the overwhelming fear of never feeling whole again.  It can be paralyzing.   My faith keeps me sane; knowing without a doubt that Will is in heaven is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going.  I live for the day I die and see Will in heaven. That does not mean in anyway that I have given up on leading a fulfilling, meaningful life.  It has given me direction and something to focus my attention on.   

I have made plenty of mistakes in the 19 months since Will has died. Luckily some of those mistakes were also great opportunities for growth.   I refuse to let the worst thing that has ever happened dictate the rest of my life. Not everyone will agree with the way you handle your grief.  Grieving is such a deeply emotional and personal process that each one of us experiences it differently.  Not everyone that you expected to be there for you will be there. Your focus should be on yourself and the people you love.

Only you know what your are feeling.   Never let anyone tell you how you should be feeling. 

Staying in touch with yourself, being honest about your emotions and setting realistic goals will definitely help keep you out of the shadows.

When I told Will to look at me so I could take his photo, he thought I was going to steal his funnel cake! Can you tell by that look on his face?  The photo was taken at his one and only Atlanta Falcons game.  I am so thankful that I took lots of photos throughout his nine years.

Something to Remember

Something to Remember

- from God's Plan for You Life: Overcoming Grief

If you life has been turned upside down, you may find yourself searching for something new: a different direction, a new purpose or a fresh start.  As you make your plans, be sure to consult God because even now He is leading you toward a goal that only He can see.  Your task is to pray, to listen and to follow His lead.

- 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NKJV)

Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.