From Psalm 112

From Psalm 112

He will not be afraid of bad news. His heart is strong because he trusts in the Lord. - Psalm 112:7 (NLV)

The news of Will's death delivered a blow to my psyche that I was not prepared for. I can not personally imagine what my life would be like without the faith that Jesus, God's only son, was born to die for my sins. It doesn't always make it easier to get through the tough days but I know that in the not so distant future Will and I will be reunited.

What to say to someone who has lost a loved one

What to say to someone who has lost a loved one

- from  the American Cancer Society

It is common to feel awkward when trying to comfort someone who is grieving. Many people do not know what to say or do. The following are suggestions to use as a guide.

Acknowledge the situation. Example: "I heard that your_____ died." Use the word "died" That will show that you are more open to talk about how the person really feels.

Express your concern. Example: "I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you."

Be genuine in your communication and don't hide your feelings. Example: "I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care."

Offer your support. Example: "Tell me what I can do for you."

Ask how he or she feels, and don't assume you know how the bereaved person feels on any given day.

Always

Always

Comments to avoid when comforting someone that is grieving

Comments to avoid when comforting someone that is grieving

"I know how you feel." 

One can never know how another may feel. You could, instead, ask your friend to tell you how he or she feels.

"It's part of God's plan." 

This phrase can make people angry and they often respond with, "What plan? Nobody told me about any plan."

"Look at what you have to be thankful for." 

They know they have things to be thankful for, but right now they are not important.

"He's in a better place now." 

The bereaved may or may not believe this. Keep your beliefs to yourself unless asked.

"This is behind you now; it's time to get on with your life." 

Sometimes the bereaved are resistant to getting on with because they feel this means "forgetting" their loved one. In addition, moving on is easier said than done. Grief has a mind of its own and works at its own pace.

Statements that begin with "You should" or "You will." 

These statements are too directive. Instead you could begin your comments with: "Have you thought about. . ." or "You might. . ."

Source: American Hospice Foundation

You are allowed

You are allowed

There are times when you just want to crawl back in bed and cry.

You are allowed.

Today I spent some time in Will's room doing nothing but crying.

Therapy comes in many forms.

The Roller Coaster of Grief

The Roller Coaster of Grief

Instead of a series of stages, we might also think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss. Even years after a loss, especially at special events such as a family wedding or the birth of a child, we may still experience a strong sense of grief.

Source- Hospice Foundation of America

Myths and Facts About Grief

Myths and Facts About Grief

MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

MYTH: Grief should last about a year.

Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.

Source: Center for Grief and Healing